Defining Relationships

In going on another Northern Exposure binge I watched an episode in which Joel (the town doctor) is absurdly upset at Maggie (the town pilot) because she is going out with Mike (the town's new attorney). In a classic sitcom this would play out as Joel being a jealous lover who upset that he used to be with Maggie, but is no longer, is upset at seeing someone else with her. However, the episode adds a twist to that. He is more confused than upset. He wonders what their relationship means now that they are no longer available for one another. In the series they do not consider themselves good friends, but they are sexually attracted to one another. What a strange conclusion to come to. I certainly was befuddled by the whole interplay.

On the one hand, it is even interesting that they are defining their relationship. Do we as Americans generally define our relationships? How important is it to us? Do we need to do more of it and if we do, would we see our obligations to others better? Secondly, it is interesting that once they have defined their relationship, they define it in such a sense as I described above. Can a sexual attraction really brew out of two people that rather detest each other? Is there attraction trying to break down something about their personalities that they are afraid to concede on? Do both of them secretly desire someone who challenges them, but fall for people who leave them in their comfort zone?

Food for thought.